Taoism: Sh** happens. Confucianism: Confucius say, sh** happens. Islam: When sh** happens, it is the will of Allah. Buddhism: When sh** happens, it isn't really sh**. Zen: What is the sound of sh** happening? Catholicism: When sh**happens, you deserve it. Protestantism: Let sh** happen to someone else. Judaism: Why does sh** always happen to us? Hinduism: This sh** has happened before. Agnosticism: What is this sh**? Atheism: I don't believe this sh**. Hare Krishna: Sh** happens, rama rama ding dong. TV Evangelism: Send more sh**! Jehovah's Witness: Invite me into your home, and I will tell you why sh** happens.